Right Here I Decided… | ✨💫💋🖤🪩

That I was gonna be ok. The girl in that photo is happy. Sure, she was sick but her birthday was coming and she got dressed up! She didn't wanna feel sad or have any pity for her. She just wanted to be in the moment. It was at that moment I decided I was ok.

I permitted myself to not be sad every day of my life for however long everyone was expecting. I made an active choice to smile more and do things that make me happy. I'm more present than I've ever been. I can't remember the last time I cried. While sadness comes in waves I don't sit in it long enough. My mom would not want that. She wouldn't want anyone else to either.

❤️ | This is me. Giving family and friends all the permission to be happy and to smile again. Keep talking about all the memories and keep my mom in your heart. I promise you I'll be ok. I'm doing really well right now. No need to call with sadness in your heart. No need to write with sadness. No feeling sorry for me.

The past few weeks I've honestly just wanted casual conversation. I want so much for all of you to talk to me about how the weather was yesterday or if I liked the show I saw or like my Bonus dad did — talk to me about Kimchi. As one of my good friends did — tell me about your newfound single life. I miss my mother. I grieve my mother but I am also my own person. Who sometimes wants to know when we can go to Target or have that dinner date or even just coffee.

Full permission to not sit in it and dwell. Live. Pretty please? If not for her, for me.

Love You.
Ally xox

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