Where I’ve Been…
SO THERE IS NO WAY TO SAY THIS WITHOUT IT SOUNDING INCREDIBLY BLUNT…
MY mom died.
In December of last year my mother passed away. At the time I was at the museum of broadway grabbing content with zero clue anything was wrong. the hospital didn’t have my correct information and there was a delay in contacting me. While I’ll spare the full details I will ask that any woman reading today — the symptoms of a heart attack are very different than in men. Please learn the signs:
There are so many things I could tell you about my mom. She was a true warrior. I ever tell you all about how she walked to the hospital in labor with me? She was a true Aries. Fire and passion, unlike anyone I ever knew. She loved hard. She cared hard. She was the glue in every group. I have no doubt she’s making the best of friends with the higher beings and asking them about the entertainment in heaven.
My mother passed away knowing she was loved so much by so many. I promise you she knew it. The outpouring of love I’ve seen over these past few months is nothing short of incredible. Knowing how loved she is by so many truly has touched me in ways no one will ever understand. I’m so happy she made an impact on so many. I can only hope I am able to do the same as I get older. I’m so proud to be her daughter. I’m so proud of her and the strength she had —which she then put into me. As I said before I am not the person I am today without her guidance and love.
I think what I miss most is hearing her voice. I could watch a video of course, but it’s not the same. I miss calling her everyday. I miss telling her about all the things i’ve been up to. I wish I could Tell her about New Orleans or my Philly trip. I wish I could tell her about all the shows i’ve seen recently. Then I realize that I do talk to her. I just talk to the sky now and pray she’s listening. Allow me to tell you a few things about her:
She loved her talk shows, especially @sherrishowtv. I’ll never forget the day she met Sherri. She was so excited. So happy! She would say over & over how Sherri called her “Ms. Ida” and loved her shirt. Sherri, I want you to know she loved watching you. She loved getting up and trying to get into every show she could.
You wouldn’t know it unless you asked but she loved her musicals. She loved Broadway. We went to see Funny Girl & Tina the Musical this year and I planned on taking her to see Back to the Future & Cabaret next year. She loved the spectacle of it all. The reason I love Broadway so much started with a trip to see the Beauty & the Beast musical when I was young. The rest was history. I’ll miss her joy after every show we saw together.
She loved animals. Especially dogs. I’ve never known life without my mommy having a dog around. I hope Ivory, Beauty, Candy, Minnie & Macho all greet her with warmth and love. She missed them so much.
I hope she knows I’ll be ok. That the family will be ok. I hope she knows Armand has got me. I’m gonna learn how to navigate this new chapter. Because i’m just like her. I’m built out of her love and passion.
So where have I been? I’ve been mourning. I’ve gotten sick twice now and i’m working to keep myself as healthy as I can. I’m working at what happiness means to me now. i’m not the same woman I was before that day in December. I have to learn to laugh again at how absurd this world can be and take it with stride. I have to learn to be free and to stand up for myself. I have to learn to navigate this new world i’m in. it takes time but I can get there.
I believe I can and so I will.
